Do you have a card?

Before I received my last promotion (aka quit my job to stay home and watch Real Housewives "On Demand" take care of my baby), I loved carrying and giving out my business cards.  I had a snazzy card holder and kept a stack in every bag I owned.  I loved to network, make new contacts, give out my cards, and collect business cards for googling/stalking prospecting purposes.  Business cards made sense. 

Now that I spend my day at the park, the pool, and the play date, I have no need for business cards.  Or so I thought.

Last Thursday night, I met a woman who suggested we get together to introduce our kids and take a walk in the neighborhood.  I grabbed my phone to add her contact information when she said, "email me, here take my card."  As I walked away, I glanced down at the card to check out her profession or employer, and had to stop when I realized this was no ordinary business card.  It was...(dramatic sound effect)... a mom card.

Her name, her phone number, her email address, and her family members were all listed on the card. No company, no logo, no title.  What the what?!  I couldn't help but giggle. 

I googled "mom cards" to see if this was really a new fad, and voila, I found this ridiculous website.  Check out the top 10 reasons to get a mom card:

1.     New moms you meet and want play dates with

2.     Contact info for Babysitter

3.     Neighbors

4.     Existing friends (the cards are just too cute not to share)

5.     Put in holiday cards, birthday cards, thank you cards and more

6.     When dropping off your child at someone’s house for a play date or birthday party

7.     If your child is lost you can give out the card with their picture on it to help find them

8.     Keep one in your suitcase or diaper bag in case it gets lost

9.     Will make grandparents smile

10.   Just for fun!

They're all a bit nonsensical but does anyone think #7 is absolutely assinine?  (I'm shocked it took me 4 months to use "assinine" in a post.  Purposely spelled incorrectly.) 

Who in their right mind believes there's any need for mom cards?  Come on people.  This is absurd.

OK, fine, you got me, I'm gonna order some (just in case Ari gets lost...his crib is big...safety first.)

You want one?

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Allergy Season

As much as I love the warm weather and blooming flowers, the onset of Spring brings me pure agony.  I have terrible allergies.  My eyes are scratchy, my nose is runny, and my throat is itchy.  I'm allergic to pollen, and weeds, and probably some trees. 

Oh, and I'm definitely allergic to laundry.

It's true. I can sometimes handle the washer and dryer without taking medication.  But folding clothes gives me a headache and just the thought of putting away laundry makes me break out in hives!  I didn't realize one of the roles of stay-at-home-mom is doing the laundry, but since I have such a severe medical reaction, I think I should be allowed a pass.  I've heard of one magical antidote.  It comes in a hot pink container and is very easy to locate.  The only real problem is that this cure is extraordinarily pricey and insurance doesn't seem to cover it. 

So, as the trees bud and flowers blossom and dryer dries, I plan to just suffer through my pain, buy some Kleenex and a large bottle of Procrastination, and possibly bribe the man of the house to fold a load or two of laundry every week.  (Ok, to be fair, and honest, he does fold a load or two a week.  Maybe he can do a few more.  Especially since he's violently allergic to the dishwasher.)

I assume there are no home remedies for my allergies.

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Talk to me!

About three months ago, I was promoted.  I left an office I loved, a title I desired, and a paycheck that supported my Ruelala addiction to take care of my baby 24/7.  I was thrilled to hold the new position of stay at home mom.  My maternal instinct kicked in (shockingly), and I have felt an incredibly strong bond with my baby.  I feed him, I change his poopie diapers,  I take him for walks, I attend classes, and as I detail in this blog, I get drooled on and spit up on and pooped on all day long.  And I am very happy. 

But now, I am jealous.

Ari babbles constantly.  He's been vocal for a long time and loves to make funny noises and practice different pitches.  Until the last week, nothing has sounded like English, but I have been coaching him by saying repeatedly "mommmmmmy" "aaaaarrrrrriiiiiii" when he "talks".  Much to my chagrin, he now says one word over. And over. And over.

Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da, Da-da.  All day long. And from 5:45am-6:30am. Da-da.

Come on little guy!  It just ain't fair!  "Da-da" changed 1 poopie diaper in the last month!  "Da-da" didn't gain 35 pounds for you (though he did gain his share of sympathy weight.)  "Da-da" didn't push your cantaloupe-sized head out of a hole the size of a grape.  "Da-da" doesn't even hear you in the middle of the night!

Puh-leeease.  I need a "ma-ma."

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