Baby Bio 101

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

When I was a kid, I loved watching Mr. Wizard on Nickelodeon.  It was no surprise that as I got older, I became obsessed with science projects.  My mom would want me to point out that she I won the State Science Fair in 7th grade when I injected cancerous tumors in plants and treated them with beta carotene.  It worked.  Fo' real.  Eat your carrots.

And then I entered high school and the wonderful world of Biology.  (As an aside, my teacher, Mrs. Ishee, could not pronounce my name.  Tongue-tied, she always called me Suley Jew.  Hmm thinking back, this was the South.  Did she do it on purpose?!)

Bio proved to be awesome. In 9th grade we dissected the frog, in 10th the fetal pig, and then, as a Senior, the ultimate in butchering deconstruction, the cat!  Yup, we shaved it, skinned it, and studied its insides for a whole semester.  And I loved it. 

(Side note - For those of you who use Keratin hair treatments, the ones that actually work are made with formaldehyde.  If you dissected a cat in high school, you would know why I take my tresses elsewhere.)

With the exception of Geology 101 (Rocks for Jocks) in college (we didn't learn about the 4 C's in that class...what-a-waste), I haven't taken a science class since high school.  But having a kid gives me endless opportunities for science experiments.

Like, how much liquid can a diaper hold?  How much milk can a baby drink before he spits up?  Will Ari cry if I send him face down on the playground slide?  What happens if I don't burp the baby?  Does the sound of running water make a baby pee?  (9 pounds of water, not much, oh yeah, he hurls, yes - every time!) 

I could go on and on. 

But nothing beats my latest fascination - food experiments. 

A few highlights thus far:

#1. Corn:  One word. Yes. 
#2. Turkey meatballs:  After consumption, Ari expels gas from both the digestive track and the anal sphincter and both smell exactly the same! 
#3 Sand.  (Same as corn)
And then there's #4. Asparagus.  You know where I'm going with this one.  The result?  Of course!

Next up?  Tart frozen yogurt.  And Chinese food.  (Is it just me?!)

Einstein.  Mr. Wizard.  Bill Nye the Science Guy.  And me.  Raising a baby ain't (rocket) science.  But it sure is entertaining.


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