Trader Shmoes

Friday, April 8, 2011

I'm into Trader Joe's.  I take my baby there almost every day.  The store is a 5 minute walk from my home (but pre-baby and l-a-z-y, I steered clear because the parking lot was always packed).  Ari and I both love walking up and down the aisles and seeing the people and products (plus they always have samples, and I can't turn down free food.  C'mon, that's the only reason I belong to Costco).  I have even become obsessed with a few TJ items (freeze dried blueberries, baked salt and vin chips, reasonably priced produce and kosher chickie, jalapeno cheddar cheese puffs, chili lime cashews...I could go on and on).  But yesterday, as I was checking out, I had an encounter with a Trader Shmoe.

Let me set the scene... Trader Joe's is a mob scene.  I put my "less than 12" items, including 1 bottle of wine, on the wooden plank next to the cash register and stand behind my stroller, waiting for the clerk to finish the transaction ahead of me.  Trader Shmoe (aka annoying lady I couldn't identify in a line-up) is standing behind me. 

Very old lady walks up with one bottle of wine and stands right in front of me. 

Clerk: Ma'am, that lady is ahead of you
Me: It's ok, you can take her first
Trader Shmoe: (Makes annoying mumbling noise that sounds like "uchhh, are you kidding me", I don't turn around)
Me: (To Clerk) But, you should probably ID her
Clerk: (Chuckles)
Trader Shmoe: (no noise)
(Very old lady buys her wine and leaves)
Clerk: So I guess I should ID you too.
Me: Definitely!
Clerk: He's your ID (pointing to my baby)
Me: I could be a teen mom
Clerk: Not in Brookline
Trader Shmoe: And not with a bugaboo
Clerk: Buga whoo?
Trader Shmoe: (said in whiny, annoying, judgemental voice) Stroller moms in Brookline use
Me: I could be the babysitter
Clerk: Are you the babysitter?
Trader Shmoe: Not with those dark circles, she's not.

(I felt my cheeks turn red, signed the digital screen, put my items under my judged upon stroller, and left the store.)

I'll be sure to add a cucumber to my shopping list today.  And, I wonder if judgment is counted towards my 11 items or to the Trader Shmoe.

p.s. Should I have responded?


Joseph Wolfee April 8, 2011 at 10:05 AM  

If your mother-in-law had been with you, she would have put the Shmoe down twice; first physically and then verbally. The physical would have been a purely accidental contact of mom's shoe to the Shmoe's instep followed by a recovery bring an elbow into the Shmoe's rib. The verbal cut would have hurt at least as much.

Dori,  April 8, 2011 at 10:19 AM  

Let me guess - -fur coat...too much standing on end from too much product. Basically a walking, somewhat talking Brookline Stereotype herself. She probably also bashed into 3-4 people with her shopping cart as she wandered aimlessly through the aisles, stopping in the middle and leaving no room on either side of her.

I probably wouldn't have had the guts (or witty sense) to respond quickly enough. You'll just have to live with the fact that right now - your karma is far better than hers. :)

juliesue April 8, 2011 at 10:30 AM  

dori, you get a box of thin mints.

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