GOLDilocks

I have vivid memories from one childhood haircut. 

Growing up in Texas, I was always jealous of the blonde, straight, long, beautiful hair of my classmates.  (I'm no longer envious since I found my way out great products to tame my mane.)  Side ponytails were in style and my pony was lopsided.  I was determined to fix it.  So I grabbed a pair of kitchen scissors and cut my side ponytail straight across with one big snip.  Voila - one very cute and very even hairdo! 

All was great 'til I took the ponytail holder out and found the left side of my hair 8 inches shorter than the right side.  That day, I vowed never to let anyone but a professional cut my hair. 

So what, therefore, was I thinking when I let a non-professional hairdresser cut Ari's beautiful baby locks for the very first time? 

Well, I reasoned, my husband can change a tire, can unclog a toilet, can hang a chandelier, and can paint walls... he must be able to cut a toddler's hair!

Right, I wasn't thinking.

Now, in our defense, Ari was sporting a mullet.  His gorgeous 'do had grown halfway down his back, was completely covering his ears, and beginning to hide his eyes. 

Something had to be done.

So we gave him a bath, washed his hair, wrapped him in a towel, and while I held and fed him, the butcher dad went to work.  Snip snip snip.  "Are we done?" I asked.  "Not yet, now I need to texturize," he replied.

Texturize?  I should have known this was not going to end well.  Looking back, we would have been better off with a flowbee. You remember this thing right?

When all was said and done, we had a gorgeous merkin pile of hair to put in the baby book:

And one beautiful little boy... with an unusally large forehead:

Sorry sweetie, it will grow back.   And next time, we'll take you to Snip-Its.