Friday, August 5, 2011
For the first time in 9 months, I had baby-care for an entire day and no other pressing responsibilities. So, I had a
selfish glorious day visiting a friend with 2-month old twins, working out, beautifying with a mani-pedi, and stocking up at my favorite place, the grocery store.
In the analogy section of the SAT's, you can find ME: Grocery store = My husband: Home Depot. I'd rather go grocery shopping than watch 'Sex and the City' on E! (every night). I think I get high walking through the aisles of the Star Market. I stare at boxes of couscous for hours. I salivate over the jars of olives and pickles. I compare the ingredient labels on all of the salad dressings. And then I buy the Newman's Light Balsamic Vinaigrette. Every time. And it makes me happy.
Without baby in tow, I spent an
absurd unusually long amount of time perusing the dry goods and produce, I checked out, and had the groceries sent down for pick-up. (For those of you who do not live in my 'hood, the market is on the 2nd floor of a building so it is impossible to carry heavy bags of groceries to your car. Therefore, they send groceries down a conveyor belt to parking lot level where they are loaded into your car.)
Grinning with eager anticipation as I drove home from the grocery store, I could barely wait to see my little guy. I walked inside, paid the nanny, scooped up my BFF (don't judge), and headed to the park. We laughed, we cuddled, and we played, and then we walked home for dinner. I had a great meal planned for the two of us (Dad is out of town) using the groceries purchased earlier in the afternoon, and I was most excited for the big ripe cantaloupe I bought for dessert.
I grabbed a cutting board and a knife and looked on the counter for the fruit. It wasn't there. I opened the fridge. No melon. I grabbed Ari and ran to the car convinced it had rolled out of a shopping bag. I searched the entire trunk and backseat. But, no sign of my missing 'loupe. Sad, confused, and a little depressed, I walked slowly to my front door, replaying my grocery trip in my mind.
I remember taking the cantaloupe out of the cart and handing it to the checker. And, I recall packing the big fruit in a plastic bag alongside a carton of milk. Is this a joke? Did someone steal my melon? Could it have rolled away on the conveyor belt? Was it accidentally placed in someone else's car when they drove around to pick up their bags?
Uhh wait a sec, come to think of it, I don't remember driving around to get my groceries. Furthermore, where are my eggs? And milk? And cilantro chimichuri hummus? Do I have amnesia?
Or, is it possible I paid $170 dollars for a cart full of food that I left at the supermarket?
Yeah, not a hypothetical question.