Kids these days

Monday, May 23, 2011

Maybe it was because I grew up in the South, but I don't recall rainbow parties (sub-urban legend? who knows!) or soda seal bracelets when I was a kid.  From what I hear, times have definitely changed.  Girls are hitting puberty earlier (I can feel my husband wincing as he reads this) and older boys are taking advantage of these 6th 5th 4th 3rd graders by encouraging "budding" romances.

I wanted to keep my precious little angel innocent and untouched for the rest of his life as long as possible.  Little did I know that "music class" is baby code for "make out class."  Babies have no shame!  Parents and grandparents are watching but the tiny tots show complete disregard for their caregivers.

Let me recount what I witnessed last Wednesday.  Ari and I are jamming together when he tries to get the attention of the little girl sitting in front of him.

Ari: Excuse me sweetheart.  Want to join me for the next song?

Little girl: You talkin' to me Cheeks?
Ari: I sure am Forehead.

Little girl: I'll shimmy on back and sit on with you.
Ari: Nice shoes...
Little girl: I've heard that line before.  Will you please ask your Mom to give us a little privacy?
Ari: Just ignore her.  So you like toys eh?

Little girl: This was fun.
Ari: You're beautiful.  I will take good care of you.  Hey everyone - this is my girl!

Little girl: Oh I think you misunderstood.  I'm not interested in a committed relationship.  I'm too young to settle down. 
Ari: You used me.
Little girl: Hey there little boy in the blue shirt.
Ari: (confused, sad, red-in-the-face embarrassed)
Little boy: Move on over blondie. She's mine.  Keep filming lady.

I'm sorry baby.  Little girls have herpes cooties.  Just stick with your mama.


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